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The Smoking Musket Tailgate Menu: Virginia Tech, Dining on Turkey

2015 Continental Tire Las Vegas Invitational - West Virginia v Richmond Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

BY-GODDERS! We have football to tailgate for. Granted, I’ve been tailgating since March for soccer games (and practices), but college football is back and it’s time to tailgate it up! We went on a magical journey last season learning about different foods of our opponents. We’ll be taking that joutney together again this season, starting off with a nice spread for Sunday’s showdown with Virginia Tech

Here is my Smoking Musket Tailgate Week 1 Menu:

Marshmallow Fruit Dip

This is a shout out to my friend’s girlfriend, Kaitlin, who brought this to the first Atlanta United tailgate I hosted in March. It’s delicious and creative and I’ve almost demanded she bring this back every match.

When I host a tailgate, I usually request that someone bring a vegetable tray and someone bring a fruit tray. Usually, they’ll come with a dip, but it’s encouraged to make your own. It’s exceptionally encouraged when the dip is as tasty and easy to make as this one is.

It’s quite simple: take a small jar of marshmallow crème, a package of cream cheese and a cup of powdered sugar. Mix them together well and serve


Pepperoni Rolls

Look, we’ve been gone since December. I’m sure many of you have chowed down on pepperoni rolls during the offseason, but this tailgate is about celebrating West Virginia as much as it is reminding the other fans they’re from East Virginia. Pepperoni rolls are the symbol of all that is good about our culture and it’s time to revel in this again. Make them any way you want, but make enough to share. Not with Tech fans, this ain’t about hospitality here.

Grilled Turkey Legs

Now, I don’t think I need to explain to y’all why we’re grilling turkey legs…but I’m going to.

The Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University athletic teams are nicknamed the Hokies. A Hoki (Hoky? Hokie?) is a “turkey-like creature” derived from the school’s old spirit yell, “Old Hokie.” Sure, turkeys are kind of cool—Ben Franklin thought so, anyways—, but they are not real birds. A HokieBird is just a made-up evolved creature from the original mascot “Gobbler.” Basically, Virginia Tech pretended to be Pokémon creators and evolved “Gobbler” to “HokieBird.” I guess their special attack is “Gobble” or “Fly Away!” or something. Congrats, VPI, you’re a bunch of made-up bird mutants.

On to the food. Turkey legs are better than chicken legs for two reasons: 1) they have been in the gym more and 2) they taste better. These won’t be a quick cook, but with a 7:30 p.m. kick, we have time to cook the main course at the tailgate site (or at home). The trick to good grilled turkey legs is kind of like cooking a steak, but longer. You want a good sear on the outside and then you’ll cook it for a while under a closed grill (5-5-45, to be exact). You can use whatever bbq sauce you want, but the recipe calls for KC Masterpiece and that’s fine when you’re not really barbecuing.


Oreo Truffle Footballs

Football is back. And not in the way Texas is. Football season is here and that, of course, means we need to make something into the shape of a football. I’ve you have never had Oreo truffles before, I suggest you make these. They’re delicious and a favorite of any tailgate they’ve attended.

To make these delicious, bit-sized desserts, soften a package of cream cheese, pulverize a package of Oreos and mix them together. Then, scoop the mixture onto a cookie sheet. Then, the fun starts. Roll each ball into a log (not too skinny) and pinch the ends together and shape like a football.

Next, take a package of melted chocolates and dip the balls into the melted chocolate with a fork. Finally, use white icing to make the laces on the ball.

Sure, they’re really cute and they’ll make people say, “aww!” but they are addictive!


I’m ecstatic to be at the game tailgating. Even if FedEx Field is terrible and hates fun, we’ll be there proving that WVU is the better party school. Happy tailgating, Mountaineers!