Reddit, the cradle of internet civilization, tweeted this interesting listicle that a Michigan fan posted grading each of their opponent’s mascot on ferocity.
Rank your schedule in terms of fierceness of mascot: pic.twitter.com/wNK61yQC4K— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) May 17, 2017
In that spirit, we’re going to do that with all of this season opponents for West Virginia.
1.) Cyclones (Iowa State)
It’s a tornado, so...yeah. Natural disasters always top the list.
2.) Pirates (East Carolina)
It’s a pirate. Pirates are the worst. They terrorize the Caribbean and cause all sorts of trouble. But they are constantly drinking, so that’s pretty cool...
3.) Bears (Baylor)
I was tempted to put some video of Yogi here, but bears are actually quite dangerous. Just check out this clip.
4.) Wildcats (Kansas State)
Overly generic mascot name. That being said, rather it be a puma or a lynx, wildcats are pretty terrifying.
5.) Red Raiders (Texas Tech)
What is a Red Raider? Is it like Zorro? Because if so, I wouldn’t want to run into him.
6.) Hornets (Delaware State)
They’re just bees. If you’re allergic, they can be deadly but if not, they’re just a nuisance.
7.) Horned Frogs (TCU)
What is a horned frog? Is it a bullfrog? I don’t know. But in the spirit of comedy, I imagine them being as scary as Kermit.
8.) Longhorns (Texas)
Current Bevo is not very threatening. It’s a cow with new horns. It would be tough to be impaled by him right now.
9.) Cowboys (Oklahoma State)
The Pokes are so far down on this list because “Cowboys Ride For Free” put the Mountaineer pretty far down on their list.
10.) Sooners (Oklahoma)
Basically Wagon Train-type stuff. Not fierce or threatening.
11.) Jayhawks (Kansas)
There is actually no such thing as a Jayhawk. I’m going to assume it’s a bird. An innocent bird.
12.) Hokies (Virginia Tech)
Turkeys are not at all fierce. Why Virginia Tech would chose this as their mascot, I will never know. But it’s still fun to laugh at.