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Comparing Big 12 Coaches To GOP Candidates

Not quite ready to let go of the silly season, we make the obvious and not so obvious comparisons between 10 GOP candidates and the 10 Big 12 head football coaches.

Dana Holgorsen - The obvious comparisons to Donald Trump are too great to ignore. Follicly challenged? Check. Lover of hotels, casinos, and fast women? Check, check, and check. Amassed a huge reputation despite several obvious setbacks? Check. The next three months will determine their future in their chosen field. Yup.

Bill Snyder - I can't help but think of Mike Huckabee here. There's something about both men that make you think they are just the nicest wholesome people you will ever meet. Then one drops three L's on you right out of the gate in the Big 12 while the other openly discusses ways to bring prostitutes and pimps into the solvency of Social Security.

Charlie Weis - Shut up! I know what I'm doing here. Chris Christie...see.

Art Briles - This has Ted Cruz written all over it. Both are unconventional and walking quote machines. Both have a deep distrust of anything that didn't originate from Texas, which is kind of weird for Ted.  But back to that quote thing.

Art Briles: "Why do criminals get caught? Because all the sudden -- let's say I was a policeman -- I get lucky and I catch him walking out of a house? No. It's because I've studied him. I've watched his previous crimes, and guess what? He goes at 10:15 at night, he parks his car two houses down, he calls the cell tower and, lo and behold, two weeks later he's doing it again. We're watching his phone, and we go catch him. You can't do the same thing over and over again, or you'll get stale and you'll get beat."

Ted Cruz: "I'm a very, very proud wacko bird."

Charlie Strong - I say Jeb Bush. They both did other things, but made a name for themselves in the state of Florida. People generally have a much more favorable view of them than they do of their relatives or former bosses (recruit burglar). A lot of people believe both have bright futures. But the possibility that it could all turn south real quick for both isn't that crazy either.

Paul Rhoads - I call Rick Santorum here. If enthusiasm won games or elections, these two would already be in the hall of fame. But there's a dark side to enthusiasm. Sometimes it backfires.

Kliff Kingsbury - Like Mark Rubio, Kliff is the sexy new kid on the block. Neither is really entrenched enough to know if he's the real deal or just got here by some twist of fate like smacking Johnny Manzel on the butt at just the right time. You may or may not like either of them. But you wouldn't mind going on the recruiting/campaign trail with either.

Gary Patterson - I compare him to John Kasich in that you just don't see either one of them coming. It's not a slight. More like a compliment. You keep thinking it's not going to last as both keep getting stronger.

Bob Stoops - Scott Walker, and only because Lindsay Graham has no chance of winning this election.

Mike Gundy - I say Rand Paul, and it's all about the hair man.