Maryland Coach Randy Edsall, Uniform Design Aficionado

Scene: Randy Edsall's office during the summer as he prepares for the season.

Man, we need something special for the West Virginia game this year. I can't just run out the same old crash test dummies uniforms. I need to summon my inner artist.

Hey coach, practice in 15 minutes. Wanna ride to the prac...what's with the hat?

It's a beret, and you can refer to me as Randy the artist.

Say what?

I'm channeling my inner artist to come up with some new uniform designs.

You know we can hire someone to do that.

No no, Locksley. Something like this has to come from the heart. But perhaps you're right about this look. The French artist look is really overplayed. Gimmie a second to change into something else.

We don't really have time for...OH MY GAWD!

Pretty sweet, huh?

...um...yeah...you know, that beret thing wasn't so bad.

Can't go back now, Locks. But if this getup isn't working for you I can take it up a notch.

You really don't need to...oh sweet baby Jesus!

I know! Right? I picked it up yesterday.

You couldn't put it back down?

Whatta ya mean?

Well, practice starts in five minutes and you look like you're a little busy. Want me to tell the guys you came down with a cold or got food poisoning. You know what, I'll just tell 'em you got a little hitch in your get along.

Thanks Locks!

Hey coach, I got a call from Mike a few minutes ago and...What in the world are you wearing?

Hey Mr. Anderson. You like? I'm trying to get in the right frame of mind to design a new uniform.

You know coach, I like Elton John as much as anyone. But you don't have to dress like him to be creative. What's wrong with just working in Testudo?

Oh man, that's so tired.

...

Now coach, you need to apologize.

I'm sorry little buddy. I didn't mean anything by it.

(makes fart noise and walks away)

Great! The one guy we need to be happy and excited, and you pissed him off. Besides, we've got professionals to do this kind of thing. I pay you to coach. Not to pretend to be some artsy designer. Now get to practice.

(waits until Kevin Anderson walks away) I'm just as God made me. And he made me to design and dance.