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Maryland Coach Randy Edsall, Uniform Design Aficionado

Maryland coach Randy Edsall tries his hand at designing a new uniform.

Randy Edsall weighs his costume options
Randy Edsall weighs his costume options
John Radcliff

Scene: Randy Edsall's office during the summer as he prepares for the season.

Little_edsall_artist_medium Man, we need something special for the West Virginia game this year. I can't just run out the same old crash test dummies uniforms. I need to summon my inner artist.

Locksley_medium Hey coach, practice in 15 minutes. Wanna ride to the prac...what's with the hat?

Little_edsall_artist_medium It's a beret, and you can refer to me as Randy the artist.

Locksley_medium Say what?

Little_edsall_artist_medium I'm channeling my inner artist to come up with some new uniform designs.

Locksley_medium You know we can hire someone to do that.

Little_edsall_artist_medium No no, Locksley. Something like this has to come from the heart. But perhaps you're right about this look. The French artist look is really overplayed. Gimmie a second to change into something else.

Locksley_mediumWe don't really have time for...OH MY GAWD!


Little_elton_edsall_medium Pretty sweet, huh?

Locksley_medium know, that beret thing wasn't so bad.

Little_elton_edsall_mediumCan't go back now, Locks. But if this getup isn't working for you I can take it up a notch.

Locksley_mediumYou really don't need to...oh sweet baby Jesus!


Little_elton_edsall_2_medium I know! Right? I picked it up yesterday.

Locksley_medium You couldn't put it back down?

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium Whatta ya mean?

Locksley_medium Well, practice starts in five minutes and you look like you're a little busy. Want me to tell the guys you came down with a cold or got food poisoning. You know what, I'll just tell 'em you got a little hitch in your get along.

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium Thanks Locks!

Kevin_anderson_medium Hey coach, I got a call from Mike a few minutes ago and...What in the world are you wearing?

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium Hey Mr. Anderson. You like? I'm trying to get in the right frame of mind to design a new uniform.

Kevin_anderson_medium You know coach, I like Elton John as much as anyone. But you don't have to dress like him to be creative. What's wrong with just working in Testudo?

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium Oh man, that's so tired.

Turtle_medium ...

Kevin_anderson_medium Now coach, you need to apologize.

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium I'm sorry little buddy. I didn't mean anything by it.

Turtle_medium (makes fart noise and walks away)

Kevin_anderson_medium Great! The one guy we need to be happy and excited, and you pissed him off. Besides, we've got professionals to do this kind of thing. I pay you to coach. Not to pretend to be some artsy designer. Now get to practice.

Little_elton_edsall_2_medium (waits until Kevin Anderson walks away) I'm just as God made me. And he made me to design and dance.