The Oliver Luck "Who To Screw" Flowchart For The College Football Playoff

The College Football Playoff is a big deal, and I'm proud to represent WVU and the Big 12 on the playoff selection committee. It truly is an honor for me and I feel like I need to explain my rationale to everyone on how I go about making my suggestions to the committee. Now, most of my fellow committee members will tell you they look at things like the eyeball test, strength of schedule, head-to-head match-ups, quality wins, etc. That's all fine and good, but I like to take a simpler approach. Because when you start looking at too many factors, your choices become less and less obvious. So I put together this little flow chart that helps me give weight to all the information out there on these teams.

TEXAS - I know they are nowhere close to being in consideration for the playoff this year. But you have to remember that they kinda screwed me over recently. So it seems only fair that I return the favor. Keep in mind that I'm not out to screw the Big 12 in any way. If Texas would ever be the only viable option from the Big 12, they'll get in. But if it is ever between Texas and another Big 12 team, you should buy stock in that other Big 12 team.

Ohio State - There's a lot to not like about our neighbors to the west. Personally, I've always held a grudge that they didn't recruit me even though I grew up in Cleveland. No they went with that rubber check writing Art Schlichter instead. Yeah, good job Buckeyes! He threw the interception that got Woody fired and has continued to be a blemish on the face of your program. While I have done nothing but piss excellence every day of my life since I signed with WVU.

Rich Rod - This is a little more tricky than most. Half of the fan base wants him to burn in hell, but the other half blames it all on the previous AD. The good thing for me is that if I screw him half of you will have my back. The other half doesn't really care that much about him now, though. So really I win no matter what.

Virginia Tech - As with most of the schools in my flow chart, Virginia Tech doesn't have a chance at the playoff this year. But I wouldn't be a good Alum if I didn't make it a priority to screw the Hokies if they are ever worth a damn again.

Pitt - Hahahahahahahahahaha! I just wanted you to have a laugh too.

John Raese - I really have no idea how to screw him with this. I think maybe at best I can make sure he is never allowed to attend or broadcast any of the games. This one is a little vague to me, but I'll explore all the angles before making a final decision.

The ACC - I'm not saying. I'm just saying a certain someone better win by more than three this weekend.