Dana Holgorsen And The Wicked Wizard's Curse

It's been a wizard's age since WVU last beat Kansas State on the gridiron. 1930 to be exact. Not a lot of people know this, but that was Bill Snyder's first loss as the Kansas State coach. And apparently, he never forgot about it. Since then, Snyder's Wildcats have been on a mission to crush the Mountaineers. Or as they were known as back then, the Snakes. Which is weird considering Bill Snyder is a parseltongue.

Because of this power that Snyder holds over the Mountaineers, it's going to take a special weapon to overcome his wizarding ways. Much like you'd fight fire with fire, Dana and the Mountaineers will need to fight magic with magic.  If he comes at us with wingardium leviosa, we'll have to counter with expelliarmus. When he tries to lock down our passing game with Colloportus, we'll have to counter with Alohomora. And when he comes at us with the Cruciatus Curse, we'll have to go nuclear with Avada Kedavra (the killing curse).

All this might not be enough, though. Snyder hasn't lasted this long because he's lucky. No he's lasted this long because he is a master of the dark arts. He's sustained himself on the blood of Unicorns, walk-ons, and juco transfers. To defeat him, we'll have to rely on an ancient magic. One that proceeds even Snyder himself. It's the ancient charm known as Murica.

(Listen to this in the background for max effect)

It was believed to have been lost, but it reared it's magical head several weeks ago in the Mountaineer locker room. And with it, we'll finally defeat the Wicked Wizard of the Midwest. Restoring truth, honor, justice, and everything Mountaineer to it's rightful place atop the Big 12 mountain. Or, you know, at least finish in the top half of the conference.

Full list of spells to get your nerd on here.