Charlie Weis Has A Case Of The Monday's

Scene: The KU athletic department offices before the start of the football season.

Hey Charlie. Whaaaat's happening?

I was just putting together the pregame meal plan for the season.

Already?

I was told I could plan pregame meals between 9 and 11.

Yeah, but the whole season?

I was told I could plan pregame meals between 9 and 11.

Yeeeeeeeah. I'm gonna need you to start winning.

I was told I would have three years to show improvement.

Yeeeeeeah. It's year three and I'm gonna need you to go ahead and start winning some games or let me know the ones I should invite the recruits in for. I've lost out on some good recruits over the past couple years because of you guys.

I believe these pregame meals will be just the thing we need.

Yeeeeeeah.

Later in the year after the loss to Duke.

Hey Charlie. Whaaaaat's happening?

Just doing a taste test on these Turkey legs.

Yeeeeeeah. I'm gonna need to borrow that Turkey leg

Now look. That little sawed off son of a bitch Krzyzewski texted, "Just Like BBall" to all his recruits. You know how I know that?

...

IT'S THE SAME DAMN GUYS I'M RECRUITING! I hate Krzyzewski. Do you understand? Hate him!

Secretary? Could you bring me another turkey leg?

I don't work for you.

I could really use a turkey leg. And I didn't receive my check this week.

Yeeeeah. You're going to have to check with HR about that. By the way, we're going to need to move you down to storage room B. There's some big recruits coming in this week and I'd rather they didn't talk to you.

(whispered) Okay. But if I don't get my check and a new turkey leg, I'm just going to have to throw the game against Texas for your big recruiting weekend.

The day after the Texas loss

Hey Charlie. Whaaaat's happening? I'm gonna need you to go ahead and clean out your desk and follow these security guards. The AD sent me down here to fire you.

Okay, but I didn't get my check or turkey leg.

Yeeeeeah. The boss said you would get your checks. Seemed pretty mad about it. But you'd have to get your own damn turkey leg. So what are you going to do with all that money?

I have a few ideas...