Scene: Thursday night in Dana Holgorsen's office. The coach calls his old mentor Mike Leach for some advice on how to beat Oklahoma State.
(the phone is picked up with the clank of metal on metal in the background)
Oh yeah, I remember those days. Still got the eye patch you gave me.
Well, I'm having some trouble getting the offense going this year. To be honest, we've been doing a lot of running.
Running? You know there's a cure for that, right? Remember that night in TJ and going to the doctor the next day? Just go to the local Quick Care. They'll get you fixed up.
No, I'm serious! We're playing Oklahoma State this weekend and we need to find a way to win before the natives get restless.
Meanwhile in Stillwater
Now Mike, don't forget what I told you about staying away from that Dana Holgorsen. He's always getting you in trouble. You promised Mike the Tank wasn't coming back anymore.
Friday night in Morgantown
Look Dana, I'm just not sure I can trust you. Besides, isn't that where all the fraternity houses are?
It's not a big town Mike. Everything's close. It'll just take a few minutes. Then I'll get you back to the hotel.
Later that night