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If there is one thing that a humiliating loss can provide, it is a flood of correspondence. Check out this Mailbag for some evident truths and a couple of chuckles.
Dear Musket,
There is an old adage that when you have three quarterbacks, you really have none. But hey, at least you haven't thrown pick 6's in four straight games.
Keep your head up,
Signed,
Matt Schaub
Dear Musket,
Ollie Luck has to go. He clearly didn't have his head on straight when he made this hire, and he didn't ask my opinion.
Signed,
Pat White
Dear Musket,
Those Baylor uniforms certainly were sharp-looking.
Yours,
C-3P0
Dear Musket,
Shit. I think I am in trouble. Why did we have to schedule Baylor last?
Hook 'em,
Mack Brown
Dear Smoking Musket,
I would just like to go on record and state that should Oliver Luck leave Morgantown to take the AD job at Texas, I think Mike Parsons would be a great replacement.
Yours,
Mike Parsons
Dear Musket,
Relative to the potential head coaching vacancy I read about on Twitter (I have followed Pat White ever since he got Bill Stewart hired), I would like to forward my curriculum vitae for your perusal. Please show it to anyone that may be able to help me should an interview be necessary.
Thank you in advance,
Paul Pasqualoni
Dear Musket,
They told me it was an acorn, but I don't believe them. The sky is falling and all my friends agree with me. I didn't know so many of them frequented your blog.
Signed,
Chicken Little
Dear Musket,
It could always be worse. Both of your state universities could have lost this past week, and you could be living in a state with: the highest rate of obesity (35.3% of total population), the highest rate of child poverty (31.9%), the highest rate of infant mortality (1.01%), the lowest median household income ($35,078), the highest teen birth rate (71.9 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19) and the highest overall rate of STDs.
Signed,
The State of Mississippi
Dear Smoking Musket,
When I asked the coach what it was going to take to win the game, he said "we have to score more points than they do." It occurred to me that I am not the best interviewer. Any pointers?
Please help,
Mitch Vingle
Dear Smoking Musket,
We would appreciate it if you would let everyone know that all those jokes you hear about West Virginia are really about Mississippi.
Thank you,
The State of West Virginia
Dear Musket,
Did you know that in 61 possessions we have yet to go three-and-out this year? So, don't feel too bad. We really are this good on offense.
You are gonna hear us growl,
The Baylor Bears
Dear Smoking Musket and Its Readers,
Be careful what you wish for.
Leave No Doubt,
The Ghost of Bill Stewart