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Rich Rodriguez Finds A Job

Scene: The Pro-Am golf tournament at The Greenbrier. Dave Alvarez is talking with his caddy.

Hey Rich! Thanks for being my caddy. I sure do appreciate it. So what's with the disguise?

Caddyrod_medium First off, don't call me Rich. Call me...Rodney...Rodney Richards. Yeah, that'll work. See, there's going to be some people here that forked over a lot of money during the whole Bama thing. I'd rather this didn't turn ugly and so on and so forth and things of that nature.

Oh come on Rich...I mean, Rodney. That's all water under the bridge by now isn't it?

Caddyrod_medium I'd rather we play it safe, Dave. Plus my wife is around here somewhere and I could use a break. If you know what I mean. (winks)

Fair enough.

Caddyrod_medium Plus, this is going to be my first shot at coaching in a while.

Rodney, I already have a golf coach. I just need you to carry the bag and give me the club when I ask for it.

Caddyrod_medium I think you underestimate my coaching skills in pressure situations, Dave.

No Rodney, I think that is a matter of public record.


Hi everyone I'm Johnny Miller, and welcome to the lovely Greenbrier Resort for today's Pro-Am golf tournament. I'm joined by Arizona Diamondbacks owner and WVU alum Ken Kendrick.

Thanks for having me Johnny.

Say Ken, have you noticed Dave Alvarez talking with his caddy over there? Looks a little like your old pal Ri...

(covers microphone) Look Johnny, he doesn't want to be noticed. Just let it go.

Okay then, moving on.

(A somewhat familiar man walks out of the crowd towards the announcers table)

Hiya men. Sure is a beauty of a day for a golf tournament!

Sir, we are live on the air. Can we get some security over here?

You're doing the right thing, Johnny. Get him out of here.

I'm sorry Mr. Miller. I'll handle this.

Easy there lad. Don't you recognize me?

Yes Mr. Stewart, I do. Now just come with me and there won't be any problems.

But I'm the...I mean I used to be the...

I know. It's all over now. So just move along.


Caddyrod_medium Dave, I've noticed you take a lot of time in between shots. I think you really need to speed the pace up. Don't give 'em a chance to adjust to you. That's what always worked for me.

Don't give who a chance, Rich? The crowd? The camera men?

Call me Rodney. Remember? Ooooo! Dave, look at that one in the tight shirt and mini-skirt. You mind if I take a break, if ya know what I mean?

Sure Rodney. I'll see you in a couple minutes.

Caddyrod_medium Hey!


You know Johnny, I've played golf with Dave a few times. He is really not on his game today.

Yeah Ken, I wonder if it has anything to do with that caddy of his.

( a woman stumbles out of the crowd )

Hey Kenny! Hey baby, have you seen my husband?

Oh boy...