In the long line of significant events in Mountaineer history -- from the founding of the school in 1867, to the building of Mountaineer Field in 1980, all the way to 5th Year Senior's second try at senior year in 2004 -- none have quite reached the epic proportions of today's unveiling of the Smoking Musket Hate Index.
Built to stand the test of time, the Hate Index will be an evolving list of things in this world that WVU fans simply can't stand. While there will be stalwarts -- Pitt certainly comes to mind -- the index might one week include someone that has very recently drawn our ire. Gary McGhee, for instance. Or Brandon Knight. Or even Kellen Winslow (sorry, some scars heal slower than others).
Every week, we'll be back to give you a status update on the eight members of the index. We'll also allow you to vote one member off the list and take nominations in the comments for that vacated, coveted spot.
Everyone got it? Good. Hopefully, this will be something that unites us in mutual hate for seasons to come. And if not, you all can go fu...oh, sorry, got a little carried away with the hate. You guys are cool.
After the jump, the Inaugural Smoking Hate Index and relegation poll. Enjoy.
- Pitt -- very little explanation needed, other than it's our biggest rival, located in a hovel called Oakland, has had some of the most objectionable human beings (Carl Krauser, Tyler Palko, Alex Van Pelt), can't sell out it's shiny stadium unless WVU is in town, and eats shit. It's pretty clear, Pitt will be a mainstay on this list.
- Football Season Weddings -- If you have a football season wedding, don't invite me. I immediately regret being friends with you in the first place, because if I had known you were capable of such stupidity, we wouldn't be friends. I don't care if you have crab cakes, I just don't. I would rather wake up in a pool of my own vomit on High Street than peruse your wedding buffet.
- Tremain Mack -- Still the most hurtful single play in Mountaineer history. If I saw Tremain on the street, I would immediately kick him in the shins and then instruct all birds, through my knowledge picked up watching Dog Whisperer episodes -- to shit on his head.
- December 1, 2007 -- Obviously hated because it's Military Abolition Day in Costa Rica. What respectable country goes and abolishes their military? Pussies.
- Marvin Graves -- Those in the greater DC area: please go to Catholic University football games (they're Division III) and heckle the shit out of their QBs coach. I won't give any hints as to who that may be, but it's Marvin Graves.
- Ugly Kegler's Waitresses -- This is more the exception that proves the rule, but why do these even exist? Kegler's is a bastion of female waitress hotness, yet there's always one or two that ruin the fun for everyone. Kind of like at the high school state basketball tournament where there was always a cheerleader over 200 pounds. You're making it very difficult for me to stare at good looking girls, ugly Kegler's waitress and overweight underage high school girl.
- Greg Van Zant -- Google Greg Van Zant and this is the second search listing. He can't be happy about that.
- Georgetown Fans -- Because fuck Georgetown, that's why.
NOTE: For new nominations, give us your reason for including them in next week's Hate Index. The best description will be included in next week's post (along with a shout out to the writer).