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The Smoking Musket Mailbag: 2011 NCAA Tournament Edition

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We don't get nearly as much email as we would like, but we're trying our best to get that to change. Hence, we are bringing you our second edition of The Musket's mailbag (the first can be found here), wherein we shall post interesting emails we have received so that they may spark chuckles, or indignation, but at the very least: conversation.

Read on for some of our most-recently received items.

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Dear Smoking Musket,

Wait, you're telling me there are rounds after the Elite Eight? Why am I just now finding out about this?

Sincerely,

Jamie Dixon

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Dear Smoking Musket,

I've been trying to break a backboard all season, but I just can't seem to throw the ball hard enough on layups to make it shatter. I think I'm going to ignore the fans and try to reach my goal. What do you homies think? #SMD

Sincerely,

Truck Bryant

PS: #SMD means "sassafras mountain daisies."

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Dear Smoking Musket,

Did you know that the NIT once was more prestigious than the NCAA Tournament? In fact, teams used to skip the NCAA Tournament simply to play in the NIT. We believe all trends repeat themselves, so you could probably go ahead and consider us groundbreakers.

Sincerely,

Seth Greenberg

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Dear WVUIE97,

Was that you hiding in my bushes late last night? I swore I heard something.

Sincerely,

Candice Swanepoel

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Dear Smoking Musket,

This is awkward, but I left my copy of Tecmo Bowl for original Nintendo at the Puskar Center. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I can't remember the four plays and I really need them for my new job. Could you just drop it in the mail later today if you're not too busy? Thanks.

Sincerely,

Jeff Mullen

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Dear Smoking Musket,

I don't care what your rule book says, this is a charge.

[via pictures.replayphotos.com]

Sincerely,

Duke Basketball, 1980-Present

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Dear Smoking Musket,


Why did I just leave a major college program to work for a school populated by nerds? Nerds don't play football. I think I was drunk when I made that decision. HELP!?!

Lonnie Galloway

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Dear Smoking Musket,

Battleship gray is my favorite color. Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Ed Pastilong

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There you have it. Feel free to comment below, and if you desire more private responses, or have a question that you would like to ask, please email those staff members with addresses listed below.