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A gathering of Big East celebrities have joined for a special Christmas Roast of the commissioner, John Marinatto. This once proud union comes together for their last Christmas as a conference to stab back at the one they call Brutus.
I remember when John came to me as a young intern and asked me how to get to where I was at. I pointed under my desk. And just look at you now, John! Unfortunately he never asked how to stay where I'm at. Which is why we've all joined tonight.
The real key to running any organization...
Run? Have you seen this guy?
...Like I was saying, the key is to play to your strengths. Or in your case you might want to ask, what would Mike do?
I remember before you took over, John. Too bad that changed!
Yes, thanks Jim. You'll get your turn here in a minute.
I know you're just trying to do what's best for the original members of the conference, John. But could you try a little harder while we still have some?
And if you come down to shake my hand when we win the Big East tournament I'm gonna bounce that crystal whatever off your forehead, Marinatto!
Easy Jimmy.
Shut it, Thompson! My beef is with this guy, not you.
Have you guys heard the story of the Lion King?
Have you ever heard the story of the Dumb King?
...
Seriously, who is this guy? He looks like a cross between George Costanza and Albus Dumbledore with that hat.
John, I just want to thank you for being a much bigger story than me in 2011.