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Chuck Landon vs. The World

Chuck Landon fights a daily battle with what most of us call reality. He consistently writes articles that ignore silly little things called facts and replaces them with nonsense self-righteous ramblings. The latest edition in this suspense-filled drama came Friday in the Herald Dispatch.

In the article, Ol'Chucky decides to take some shots at WVU because of our recent NCAA slip-ups. You would expect a perceived rival to take some shots at you when you are down. To be so cavalier in ignoring the reality of WVU's situation and Marshall's past transgressions, however, gives me an opportunity to slap Ol'Chucky back to the real world in which the rest of us live.

Let me begin by directing your attention to the NCAA Press Release of 2002 describing Marshall's "lack of institutional control" and the punishment received by the football and basketball programs. If you are like me and hate reading, I will break it down real quick for you.

The University set up jobs for players with a representative of the university's athletics interests that paid $25 per hour. Bob Pruett not only knew of this practice, but was very much the architect in securing these jobs. Also, an MU professor fixed a players grades so he would be eligible.

Marshall received a slap on the wrist from the NCAA and was forced to vacate no wins.

Now, here comes Ol'Mullet Chuck saying that if WVU is required to vacate victories from the '06 and '07 seasons, that WVU owes Marshall another home game at Joan C. Edwards Dump. While WVU's violations are stupid and could have easily been avoided, the violations do not rise to the level of paying players or fixing grades.

But, in Chuck's world, a little extra practice is worse than paying players and fixing grades. Sure, WVU has lost the high ground in the perceived rivalry, but if we can help it, WVU will play as few games at The Dump as we can.

Another dose of Chuck's reality is the successful athletic programs at Marshall last year. One coach fired and another that left for a better program. That sounds like an A+ performance to me Chuck.

Finally, Chuck suggests that we sing "Your cheatin' heart" after our victories instead of Country Roads. Sure, we'll sing that too this year after we beat Marshall at The Dump, but it is better than Marshall's fight song, Iggy Pop's "Inferiority Complex."

Chuck, the first step in your recovery is admitting you have a problem. Just admit that your hatred of WVU and our dominance over Marshall in everything other than fat girls clouds your perception of reality. The rest of the world will welcome you back with open arms. Well, you would need to chop off that mullet, too, but the first step is admitting you have a problem.