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Rushing The Court


Let me start off by saying, I totally ripped this idea off Rick Reilly today. He has a great article on, which I will cite too many times, with a few amendments of my own. Without further ado, I take the ideas of a great sportswriter and add buffoon-esque commentary.

As many of you have noticed a lot of fans have been rushing the court recently.

This isn't karaoke Tuesdays. It's not a scheduled event. True rushing the court happens to a school once every 20 years or so. It should be, "Oh, there's Professor Krumpke. Let's have him tell us about the time he rushed the court." It's like walking down the aisle: If you do it more than twice in your life, you're doing it wrong.

I wouldn't go that far Ol'Ricky boy, fans should get the chance to rush the court more than once every 20 years. This isn't the second coming of Jesus or the frequency that Charley gets laid.  If college kids want to rush the court to hump each other jump up and down, most should get the chance.

I'm definitely talking to you, Wake Forest. You RTC'd when you beat North Carolina last season. They were third in the nation. You were fourth. What's going to make you storm the floor next? New nets?

However, there are rules that should be followed...

Here are Reilly's rules. Some of which I agree with, some of which are silly.

You can NOT rush the court if:

You've won an NCAA title in the past 20 years.

I 100% agree with this rule. I also think if you have won a national title in the past 20 years, you should not complain about how bad you are suffering as a fan.

You've been in the Final Four in the past five years.

Again, I agree. I kinda like this Reilly guy.

The team you just beat is not in the top three.

How about top 10.

Or is ranked within 15 rungs of you. (Somebody do the math for Wake.)

This rule does not go far enough. You should not rush the court if your team is ranked.

You've beaten this same team in the past five years.

Sorry South Carolina. No fun for you.

You won the stupid game by more than 10 points. There is no such thing as a PRTC (Premeditated Rush The Court.)

This is a dumb rule. Some games get out of hand towards the end. I'll throw this one out.

You're a university and you just beat a college.

See, we should never rush the court after we beat Marshall.

You have a dead-mortal-lock lottery pick on your team.

Ignore this rule This would eliminate a situation where a scrub gets hot and really propels the team, Ted Talkington.

Your team has appeared in a recent "One Shining Moment."

I agree with this one. If you made the Big Dance last year, you should be more accustomed to winning big games.

So kiddos, remember these rules next time you are ready to rush the court. It could save you some embarrassment.