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Turns Out Bobby Bowden Is A Dick

OK, so we all knew going in that the Gator Bowl would be mostly a circus.  Bobby Bowden this, Bobby Bowden that.  Not only did the man cure cancer, he found a way to win 800+ football games in his spare time, nevermind that his total win tally is retreating with NCAA sanctions.

Like I said, we all knew it was going to be all about Bobby.  But really, Sir Bowden, did you need to start the victory parade in the middle of the third quarter?  I'm exaggerating, of course, but not by a ton.  With two minutes left in the game, Bowden did his best to look like he was campaigning for future office: shaking hands, kissing babies, and dry humping Deion Sanders.

I don't care how great a career you've had, can you do us a favor and wait until the end of the game before you start giving your hall of fame speech?  Even Bill Stewart looked pissed, only stopping to shake hands and share recipes  with Bowden at midfield for a season-low 8 seconds.  And if you've managed to piss Stew off, you know you've fucked up mightily.

Although, it seemed pretty clear that Bowden didn't give a shit, which makes him a, you guessed it, penis.