clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Better Defensive Scheme Than The 3-3-5?

My guess is that opposing offenses won't be so quick to attack us vertically if they were facing a wall of fecal gas. But that's just me. Maybe Marshall likes the smell of shit, who knows.

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

Update: assault charges have been dropped. Defense obviously works.

[Original story: MSNBC]