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2008 WVU Football Wish List

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  1. National Championship

  2. Kiss a girl.

  3. Have Pac-Man make it rain at Hummers after being appointed Interim University President.

  4. Steal Dave Mustache's wandstache right before the Pitt game, in the old college prankster tradition.

  5. Have Pat white win the Heisman.

  6. Beat Pitt by 7,932.34 points

  7. For it to be -46 degrees on Dec. 6 against USF and be burning couches first to stay warm and then celebrate an undefeated season in beating Matt G to the r-o-t-h-e and the Bulls

  8. Have the Mountaineer bite Auburn's "war eagle" head off Ozzie Osbourne-style and exchange his 'coonskin cap for a bald eagle headdress.

  9. Speak to a girl.

  10. Noel Devine to get silly and just be Noel Devine.

  11. Reed Williams to nor have to redshirt and be at full strength.

  12. Rich Rodriguez's hair regrowth product to go awry and cause him to start growing a main identical to Rita's (YIKES!).

  13. Finau, Sands and Kearns to qualify.

  14. The defense to reload and not have to rebuild.

  15. A piano to fall on Mike Brown's head.

  16. Stiles to emerge from his parent's basement after the NBA Finals and Draft, clear up his acne, throw on his Keds and go urban surfing with Teen Wolf on top of the PRT.

  17. Think about a girl without peeing my pants.

  18. Pat White 2,000 yards passing and 1,500 yards rushing, and 40 combined TD's.

  19. Erin Andrews to have a wardrobe malfunction while reporting from Mountaineer Field.

  20. Jarrett Brown to play the entire second half of every game to get him ready for next year....but more so because the Mountaineers are up by 40 at every halftime.

  21. Gold uniforms....let me finish...with white pants.

  22. On Senior Night, to have a "Pat White-out" in honor of the greatest player in Mountaineer history. This would include every fan in white, white snow on the field, possibly all white uniforms...and Pat White clinching the title and Heisman. (I'm still debating whether a Jarrett "Big" Brown-out next year would be a good idea)

  23. More humorous posts from Charley West and 5th Year Senior and less of The 25314.

  24. Noel Devine returning punts.

  25. Marshall forfeiting before the game so Mountaineer fans don't have to curb social lubrication during the 3+ hour donnybrook.

  26. Beating Rutgers.......for the 14th straight year.

  27. Beating Syracuse.....for the 7th straight year, all the while wondering how Greg Robinson STILL has a job.

  28. Bill Stewart to answer a short question with a short answer (remember, it's just a WISH list)

  29. Bill Stewart to lower his pants, just a bit, below the nipples.

  30. Did I mention national title?