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Things That Made Me Want To Throw My Shoe

Sometimes silly things really piss me off and let’s just say that this weekend was full of silliness. Homecoming weekend will be responsible for at least three of my future heart attacks. If I wrote down everything that made me want to throw my shoe through somebody’s sphincter on Saturday, it would be longer than the list of people Britney Spears slept with last night.

  • OK, people, it was our third home game and I maybe saw 4 people rocking during the opening video. When the video says "Time to Rock", you rock like you never have rocked before! In case you don’t know how to rock simply lean back and then lean forward. Do this repeatedly until you are supposed to start clapping/going crazy.

  • Hey cheerleaders, why in the hell are you trying to start a "Let’s Go Mountaineers" cheer when we are on offense? I think the hairspray and make-up has gone to your brain. You are supposed to shut the hell up when we have the ball. If you are in the stands and someone beside you participates in this cheer while we have the ball, I give you permission to break your empty bottle of Jack over their head.

  • Please, I beg of you, for the love of God no more waves. It distracts everyone from the game and really sucks the life out of the crowd. This team is giving their all on the field but you would rather watch the rest of the crowd stand up, throw their hands over the head, and go WOOO. (sigh)

  • Titus Brown of Mississippi State is an asshole. He hit Patrick White late on at least three plays. White was slow getting up on one of those occasions and I had visions of making Mr. Brown squeal like a piggy.

To calm down from these traumatic moments I came home and stared at this for a couple hours.

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