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Lou Holtz: An Excluthive Interview

This week, in the lead up to the East Carolina game, we contacted Head Coach Skip Holtz to sit down for an interview with us here in our WBGV studios. Unfortunately, Coach Holtz was unavailable due to a busy schedule alternating between game-planning for WVU’s offense and puking.

Lucky for us, Coach Holtz suggested a suitable alternative for our interview: his father, Lou Holtz.

Let the awesomeness begin:

Charley West: Coach Holtz, it truly is an honor to interview you. Again, thanks for stopping by.

Lou Holtz: Yur welcom, Charley Weth.

CW: Actually, it’s pronounced West.

LH: Thath wath I thaid, Weth.

CW: Right… So, Coach Holtz, how do you like your gig on ESPN?

LH: O, I luv E-ETH-P-N. They are tho nice to me. Giving me the upportunitee to give my famouth pep talkth.

CW: Yeah, we have really been enjoying those over the past few weeks. We especially enjoyed your quip about playing USC over UCLA because it was easier to spell…

LH: Wath a kwip?

CW: Like a joke.

LH: I wathnt joking.

CW: Alrighty then. How do you like ECU’s chances this weekend against WVU?

LH: Wath? Too many letterth.

CW: E-C-U is your son’s team, and W-V-U is the #5 team in the nation.

LH: O yea, I lub Skip.

CW: Lub? What the hell does that…ohh, love. Got it now. We’re sure you do love your son Lou, but what about his football team?

LH: E-THEE-U ith a tough team to beat. They like to cometh up running the foothball.

CW: Actually, they’re a passing team, Lou.

LH: Whathever. I don’t watch the gameth.

CW: You don’t watch your own son’s games?

LH: I hav to practith my pep talkth in front of a mirror for hourth before I go on E-ETH-P-N. Thath why they’re tho good.

Usually, we take this moment to thank our guest for his time. Unfortunately, between wiping our face free of spittle and interpreting the text of Coach Holtz's interview, we just don't have the energy.