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Louisville Sucks At Tailgating, Life

When you peruse this picture, keep one thing in mind: the beer is a prop. All of these Louisville fans have grabbed fake beer -- the queer one on the right grabbed a fake Corona Light -- and smiled for the camera. Cheese!

No Louisville fans tailgate. And they're lepers. That is a fact.

(Note: this may not be fact)

Having traveled to Louisville, I was treated to prohibitionist good times. The only reason they sell beer in the stadium is because they know the away fans will buy it. Yeah, I know, it's sad. Usually fans at opposing schools get drunk and lob obscenities and trashcans at visiting fans. That's just college football.


They sip their wine coolers and then cower at the site of Old Gold and Blue. I just assume they do the same when Middle Tennessee State comes to town. God only knows what happens at their Spring Game. They probably assume the fetal position and refuse to get out of the car. Pussies.

Judging by the picture, however, Louisville fans are amazing at flashing gang signs. Speaking of gangs, I can never remember who are the Bloods and who are the Crips. From the looks of their colors, they're probably Bloods. But that seems a little obvious, doesn't it? Bloods wearing red? I wish I had paid attention during that mugging a few weeks back.

Wait, what was I talking about again?