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Dear Mike Barwis: I Love You

Seriously, I love him. L-O-V-E.

Just look at that picture. That is Steve Slaton. He plays running back. Not linebacker or strong safety, running back. The man runs a 4.3 40 yard dash for chris'sakes...and he looks like that? From my untrained eye, it looks like he's added at least 15 lbs. of muscle.

If anyone from an opposing school sees this picture, we're going to have to spend the next 30 minutes talking them off the ledge. Actually, let 'em jump. Death is a lot less painful compared to what Mr. Slaton has in store.