The Smoking Musket, a West Virginia Mountaineers community

Apparently, Rick Pitino paid his own equipment manager to marry his mistress. Fabulous. In other news, I once tried to pay a woman to marry 5th Year Senior, but apparently there isn't enough money in the world. I thought it was weird for a homeless prostitute to have standards, but I guess everyone has to draw a line.

Louisville head coach Rick Pitino has admitted to a 2003 affair that led to him paying a woman $3,000 to have an abortion. This woman had sex with Pitino, used his money for the abortion, accused him of rape, then tried to extort $10,000,000 from him. Or as I like to call it: Friday night.