WVU Family FunZone: Fantastic Or Fruitless?

Rob Christy-US PRESSWIRE

The Mountaineer Athletic Department announced that Section 133 of Mountaineer Field at Milan Puskar Stadium will be an alcohol-free, family-friendly area in 2013. How well will the idea fare?

It has been reported in various places today that Section 133 of Mountaineer Field (the southwest corner, almost directly above where the team comes out of the tunnel) at Milan Puskar Stadium is being revamped as an alcohol-free Family FunZone for 2013. The details of the transition are quite inconsequential, really. Tickets cost $365 each ($60.83 per game) with no MAC donation, which is about the same as it was before in that section, if memory serves. Folks already in that section can stay if they want, or move to Section 132. Families with tickets in other areas can apply to move into 133. After season ticket renewals are complete (they're in that process now), the general public can snap up those seats.

Great, right? Well, knowing WVU fans, someone will find a way to screw this up. What happens when a big-money donor wants to move into the Family FunZone while his kids are still in grade school, then decides he wants to go back to throwing pennies at opposing teams from the first row of Section 105 after they graduate? I can't image that discussion will go over too well. Or how about the Georgia State fan who unwittingly scalps a FunZone ticket and then saunters into the stadium with a bottle of George Dickel tucked between his thighs? I doubt he gets a refund. And is the FunZone only alcohol-free inside the stadium? Or are the ushers going to administer brethalyzers to make sure cousin Timmy didn't down an entire tray of Jello shots from your work tailgate while the Pride was performing Simple Gifts? Most importantly, how are they planning to bleep out the "Eat Shit Pitt!" chant during Sweet Caroline?

Okay, so maybe there are some details to be worked out. But all in all, this seems like a good idea. I mean, it's a shame that we have to designate certain areas where our fans aren't allowed to wear "West F'n Virginia" t-shirts and puke in the aisles, but that's the reality we live with. It's a shame that folks who have given thousands of dollars to the MAC over the years have to move to the corner to escape the jerks who stand and cheer on the team the entire game, not just on third down with the score tied in the fourth quarter 24 year old High Life Lounge owner with a mouth from an N.W.A. album. Alas, maybe that's the price we pay for selling alcohol into the stadium or admitting students from New Jersey.

Despite all its foibles, the Family FunZone has been a long time coming. At last, there is someplace parents can take their children and hopefully be able to enjoy the game free of worry about what their kids might see, hear, or smell that could ruin the experience or, worse, yet, cause bodily injury or emotional trauma. Heck, if it means getting away from the inebriated nitwads sitting behind me at the Baylor game who were escorted from their seats by three state troopers during the fourth quarter for letting Pat f#*)!*$ Miller know what a f*#)(% piece of worthless $#!( sucking !@@* scum *$@*$$&* slow, stupid #*@&!(#* #*@& he was. Over. And over. And over again, then maybe I'll ask for a transfer too.

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