Mountaineer Retweet: A Look Back At WVU's Loss To Iowa State

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

What do you do when every basement has a trapdoor? You tweet about it. WVU lost to Iowa State and we're here amongst the wreckage to talk about it. Join us, you know you want to.

In the Stephen King short story "Graveyard Shift" we learn the tale of a laborer who has been hired to clean out an old mill. He and the other workers begin their job in the basement, a nasty space awash in all manner of filth and home to a significant population of large rats. The workers then find another sub-basement, this one even more filthy than the first, home to more awfulness and even frighteningly larger rats. Finally the protagonist finds a hidden hatch to a henceforth unknown sub-sub basement whose awfulness includes a large pile of bones which portend even worse creatures. The story ends when those who journey to the depths are finally devoured by the cow-sized leg-less and blind freak rat monstrosities that inhabit the place.

Now if anyone has written a better synopsis of the 2013 Mountaineer football season, I haven't seen it. Every time we think we hit bottom, we find another hatch. And the rats are always bigger.

So grab your flashlight, maybe a shotgun to be safe, and come with me into the sub-sub basement of our soul. Where mind-numbing collapses to the worst that the Big 12 has to offer await to swallow you whole. If you will permit me one final literary reference, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."
Man. Last game. Not gonna lie, even with the way this season has gone, that depressed me a bit. For all the negatives, I've enjoyed the expanded coverage that the new IMG deal offers. If they can get the whores at CBSSports to quit charging for the streaming rights (IMG prefers to have free content and thus a larger audience) I'll be 100% happy with it.
Feels a bit forced but...ah, what the hell. I'll allow it.
Always.

I'm a purist and will always prefer blue hats on blue shirts on gold pants, but must say I've always liked the white britches as an alternative. Just glad they stuck with the blue helmets for the last game of the year.
As the great Jimmy Dugan once said, "that's good advice." Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
I don't know about you, but I'm going to spend the next 8 months wondering how things might have been different if Ford hadn't strained/torn that pec against Maryland. For all the hand-wringing over the WVU QB situation (and it is all warranted). It's beyond frustrating to think we may have the answer sitting on the sideline and nobody knows. He's got the size Trickett doesn't have and the arm Millard doesn't have. There is a chance he could be the magic bullet to fix this WVU offense.......but we have no idea. We saw him at full strength for exactly one game, and he set the freshman passing record (albeit against a horrible team). Kills me.
Behold the glory of the Riot Bowl trophy. By all accounts the Iowa State crew are good dudes, so I'm hoping one day in the near future I can throw a few back with 'em. You get the gas can this year Cyclones.....but we'll be back for it in 12 months.
When you experience one of the most tumultuous coaching changes in recent years, make an improbably run to the Orange Bowl where you hang a record number on the ACC champ and then notch one of the biggest road wins of the past few decades before experiencing one of the worst periods of football futility any of us remember......well that's a helluva four years. Thanks for busting your ass seniors and I just wish we could have had one more game. You deserved better than this.
I hate these things. Crowd shots don't mean anything until about 5 minutes before kick. And with a game like this nobody shows up on time, so maybe 5 minutes after kick is better. It just pisses me off when folks shoot out things like this and then everyone starts passing it around and "oh, no, WVU's fans are staying away in droves!" I'm not saying it was a raucous crowd, I'm just saying shots like this (aimed at the student section no less) are disingenuous and cheap.
Damn right. And he sent this out BEFORE the Iron Bowl. Even in the midst of a shitty year when nothing goes right, I love you college football. I love 3 overtime games in the last 4, I love getting my heart trampled on and I love flinging my hat across the room in frustration. There is nothing like college football and you can't have the sweet without the sour. This year was a WVU lemon.
I actually have no idea what to make of any of that. What the hell are you even trying to say, Bob?
BOB'S GOT JOKES, Y'ALL!!!

Listen, you guys know I love snark as much as the next guy, but it has to be a) coherent and b) funny. These are neither. If you are so miserable covering the sport and team that probably make up the vast majority of your audience, I'll gladly take that gig on, Bob. I've grown weary of the pointless negativity. If you're going to be negative either make a point or make me laugh.
When they rip a chunk of the seating from students and then the team is good again and they're all crying about not getting into a game, I hope Ollie just mails them each a copy of that pic. You're in freaking college. I know you're home for the holidays and all - but I don't care. As some of you know I actually went to the University of Kentucky (sorry, no architecture school in WV) and I didn't once miss the last game of the season - which was always either a pillow fight against Vanderbilt or an imminent curb-stomping at the hands of Tennessee. I lived 3 hours from Lexington. SO I CAME HOME EARLY. You know why? BECAUSE I WAS IN COLLEGE AND IT WAS COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!

You'll have your family for many years. You'll have a life devoid of responsibility for only 4 of them. Now get off my lawn and go to the game.
This was great. Loved seeing him out there.
Said it before and I'll say it again - very excited this kid's gonna be around for 3 more years. I see some important kicks in his future.
Welcome back!!! We missed you!!!!!
Yeah, well they've been suspect in the red zone all year. You're not sucking me in that easily.
Well....maybe this is their day?
IT'S ON LIKE FREAKING DONKEY KONG LET'S DO THIS!!!!!
I KNOW!!!!!
It was so nice. For that moment it was so nice. I thought we'd pull away and if nothing else would end the regular season on a high note, much like last year. I was all in.
I wanted to believe that. I really did.
Because the best Mountaineer mascot in any of our memories deserved it. Every senior deserved it.
This defense was sneaky good at forcing turnovers and scoring off them. But especially forcing turnovers where they tied for 9th nationally with 28 (16 fumbles, 12 interceptions). That's nearly 2.5 a game. But their total margin was -.33/game. That's because they gave up 32 (121st nationally). Without knowing for sure, I'd wager that's the most turnovers a Dana Holgorsen offense has ever had. You want easy answers and a quick way to make a leap - start with the turnovers. Let's pretend the offense had just been bad - say 50th nationally. That's a loss of just 18 - a very realistic goal.
I thought so, too Bruce. I really did...
All year....so close......
Now you're just toying with my emotions, football.
Well stay tuned, you never know.......
and we're all like-
and we're also like-
because who really knows anything about anything.

And then more good things.....
I think maybe it might be our day perhaps?..........please?........

IT'S OUR DAY!!!! IT'S TOTALLY OUR DAY!!!!!!

I mean, how many yards is that if you're grading on a curve? 2,000? 10,000? Sims spending the year as a diamond in the rough and not all over Sportscenter might have been the crappiest thing in a year full of crappy things.
Boggles the mind. From Amos Zereoue through Avon Cobourne, Steve Slaton and Devine, it felt like WVU had a 1,000 rusher every year for over a decade. Shocking to think we went nearly 4 years without one.
Heh, heh.
This was painful. It completely destroyed the rhythm of a game WVU was dominating. At some level if you're a ref in a game like this between two losing teams in front of a half-empty stadium, know your damn role and just let them go.
Pretty much this.
Honestly, you got Mike Pereira to weigh in on a game he otherwise could not have cared less about. "Wow refs you ate an entire wheel of cheese? I'm not even mad, I'm impressed."
Well we certainly saw what Smallwod can do........

Listen, I like the kid and I think he's going to do great things at WVU. But the less I see of him returning kicks and getting goal line carries, the better.
The first of many head-scratchers on a day where Holgorsen didn't need head-scratchers. Listen, we've spent a lot of time defending Holgorsen on this site. I've done it a ton and will continue to do so. I would greatly appreciate his help in this endeavor.
This 0-3 stretch run really sucked, but the emergence of Mario Alford after his position shift is clearly the biggest bright spot. Maybe the only bright spot.
(and then a bunch of really bad things happened but we're going to skip over them because honestly, who needs that shit after this year? You know those CIA reports where they redact stuff with black Sharpies? Well I'm redacting the hell out of that collapse because I don't need that crap. You don't need that crap. It sucked. I know what happened. You know what happened. It was inexcusable and it was maddening for those of us who have spent weeks defending Holgorsen to see him turn around and gut-shot himself like that.)
Oh, HAAAIII there greatest finish in the history of college football! Oh, me? What was I doing? Oh, just watchin' a little Big 12 midget wrastlin'.
Oh yeah. That.
Why. Why? WHY??!!!??

I don't get it. I'm dumb and I'm a blogger but I don't get it and I talk with people a lot smarter than me who don't get it, either.
I don't know how many teams have played 3 OT games out of 4, but it's gotta be a short list.
"The Season That Wouldn't Die."
I don't see why the hell not?
Not in the least. Which bizarrely made me feel like they had a chance? Does that make any sense at all? No? Well, I HAVE been drinking.
AND YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TURN AWAY!!!
For those that don't know, that's one of the producers for The Dan Patrick Show. THE EYES OF THE NATION WERE UPON US.
Happened in the Texas game, too. Listen, I'm not saying this team has had some deep, deep flaws. But they've also been sitting at the blackjack table drawing face cards into a 14 for the past 3 months.
A 200 yard receiving effort and a 100 yard running effort.....and still lost to Iowa State. Get thee behind me, 2013.
When you see it written out like that......it looks even worse.
Also looks horrible when written about your team.
Ugh.
Troof.
A lot of things, actually.
Not so much that.

And that's about all she wrote. A pretty awful way to end a pretty awful season.....but the worst part is knowing there's no game next week. It's tough when you spend 8 months talking and anticipating and writing thousands of words....and then this happens. We hadn't experienced it in awhile so it makes the sting doubly potent. I don't have much of a happy spin to put on anything now and the next name on that schedule is more than daunting.

But here's the good news. Time is funny. Distance gives you hope. A week out from this thing we'll begin to shake it off and a month out those turnovers start to fade from memory but damned if Mario Alford didn't look great with those 215 yards and then we'll get some positive reports in the spring and before you know it some dumb sonofabitch will start tweeting out the #WeWantBama hashtag. Who knows, maybe I'll be that dumb sonofabitch.

All I know is I love Mountaineer Football and the only thing that hurts worse than watching them struggle is not watching them at all. So let's lick our wounds and head back to the drawing board and see if maybe this thing can get back on track. I fully plan on being among the rowdy faithful at the Georgia Dome on August 30th and I'm already talking myself into....well.....not quite.....but if we can find a quarterback.......awww hell, here we go again.

I love you, Mountaineer Football.

See you in August.
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