Sympathy for "Huntington Chuck"

You don’t understand why. Just admit it. There is an exclusive club of men who get why a guy named Chuck from Huntington would be a bit pissy. And it isn’t just because he’s stuck with a second rate athletic program for which to cheer. That would be why he manufactures stories with no merit about WVU. And it isn't because he suffers from a serious bout with APD, which he does.

His problem just might be the name. Chuck.

As a member of the fraternity who can give insight and clarity into the sort of despair that might be at the root of his angst, here are 5 other Reasons a Guy Named Chuck from Huntington might be sour bastard:

1. England’s Prince Charles made the name "Chuck" synonymous with stupidity by abandoning a hottie like Princess Diana for Mrs. Doubtfire.

2. The name Charles hasn’t been in the top 10 of baby names since the late 1940’s / early 1950’s…about the same time Queen Elizabeth’s son was born. Damn you, Prince of Wales!

3. Little kids are scared of his name thanks to the "Chuckie" horror flicks.

4. For the entirety of his life, people have asked him, "What’s up, Chuck?" as if it was the first time he’d ever heard it. And it wasn’t funny the first 100,000 times.

5. He was never chosen for the "Name Game" song in Kindergarten. You know, "Mike, mike, bo-bike, banana-fana, fo-fike, fee-fi, mo-mike, Mike."

Most of all he’s pissed because there is no hope for Marshall athletics and he suffers from an incurable inferiority complex.

Sucks to be "Huntington Chuck."