Reporting is a serious business. Reports, based on the reports of others, citing unnamed persons, and unverified rumors, is never a good idea. One should always go straight to the source for the veracity of the plain unvarnished truth.
Take the other day for example:
It was a hot day! The sun beating down unmercifully! You know the kind of day I mean. Your shirt sticks to your body and the sweat runs down your back, finally dropping off parts better left unmentioned. I glanced at my corn patch, the weeds about as tall as the corn, thinking I might put that chore off one more day. Then I noticed Dana over by the fence and he was eyein' that patch telling me to get started.
Dana's my horse, used to be called Old Bill, but that horse seemed to think he needed to be renamed after the new coach. Own an animal long enough, you get to know what he's thinking, and if Dana thought that chore needed done, I sure wasn't going to disappoint him.
I hate to have bad thoughts, but as I was hitching Dana to the plow, it did occur to me, that just maybe, he was more interested in the corn than the weeds. Can't believe I even had such an uncharitable thought! Dana is just not that kind of horse! Dana's just too smart for that kind of foolishness!
Plowing behind a horse gives a fellow time to think and a whole different perspective on the world. Not saying it makes you any smarter or anything like that, but it does give a whole different view. I started thinking about the, "goings on", in Morgantown and about those fellows on TV saying it might disrupt the team, and result in a bad season. Why, they even said the new coach might be a Wino or some such thing. To me, that was downright worrisome.
I decided to go straight to the best source I could find.
" Dana ", says I, "Those folks on TV say the Mountaineers are going to have a bad season. What do you think?" I wasn't about to tell him what was said about the new coach. It would only hurt his feelings.
Dana didn't answer right away, just ripped a few more blades off a cornstalk. Dana likes to think things through! I could tell he was simply mulling the problem over. Trying to digest the load of information I had just dropped on him. Eventually, Dana rolled his eyes and gave a little grunt indicating he was ready to make his view known. It was a concise and loud report! And judging from the sudden aroma that washed over me, Dana clearly felt those folks were full of crap.
So there you have it!
Straight from the source!
After Dana has digested all the information, He has never failed to turn out a good report! Now that's reporting accuracy you can believe in! Much better accuracy than you get from the horse's asses on TV!
Dana looked back with a gleam in his eyes, and gave a big whinny. Now, I may be a little hard of hearing, but it sure sounded like---
"Let's Go! Mountaineers!"