IT'S A PARTY, Y'ALL!! Come check it out! Friday, December 23, at the FIREPIT, it's a NAUGHTY AND NICE party....come find out who's been NAUGHTY and gettin' a lump of coal and who's been NICE and gettin' a lump of this fine lady here in the Santa hat. Hosted by YOUR favorite Orange Bowl participants, West Virginia's Brodrick Jenkins and Clemson's Sammy Watkins. Ohh yeah!!
Hey hey! I can't tell y'all how GEEKED I am about this throwdown, blowout, hoe-down New Years Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve party next week in my old stompin' grounds, Miami. There are gonna be many fly ladies just flocking to the club and copious jams spun by my two favorite DJs, Lowkey and Germ. Hope y'all can make it down to see us put the XXX in XXX-mas!! Bahahaha!!
What what! That's right, bro! Sammy Watkins here and I can't wait to show y'all how we celebrate the Holiday Season in South Florida. We're actually taking bets on whether I score more touchdowns or ladies next week. I'm taking the OVER on both!!!
You boys should probably stop and consider whether there might be some kind of moral or NCAA issues with your little get-together there. We wouldn't want anything to get in the way of your enjoyment of one of the most important games of your lives, or your ability to grow up and be fine young contributing members of society.
Are you for real pops? I was gonna make it RAIN at that party, and now you're gonna rain on my parade like that? Don't even front. We're gonna get our party on, NCAA or no NCAA.
Aww no way dude! I was about to have this BANGIN night, and I mean BANGIN night knowhatImsayin? Hahaha. And now you go and bring the NCAA and morality into it? What are you, like my conscience or something?
I'm not your conscience, young lad, I'm your life coach, Ole Billy Stew! Golly I sure wouldn't like to see you guys get in any trouble with the NCAA, that sure would put a damper on your bowl experience. Bowls are a reward, ya know! You should enjoy them, with a warm glass of milk, some fig newtons, and your bride.
OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! Who brought this old man??? Get outta my party dude!! You're gonna ruin my cred with the ladies!! And do I have some FINE ladies dressed in red velvet that can't wait to sit on Sammy Claus's lap next Friday!
Now Samuel, is that any way to talk to your elder? Those ladies you're talking about are the sisters of our lads and the daughters of our brides. Come on, Brodrick, let's go home and play some Wii with my boy and my bride.
Yeah, Life Coach Stew! That sounds sooooo much better than poppin' $100 bottles with college girls dressed in elf costumes. Where's my guitar at?? We have an Orange Bowl to win! Hit it! Red, green, red, green yellow/red/blue, yellow/red/blue, green, green green....WOAHHHHHH WE'RE HALFWAY THERE....WOAHHHH....LIVIN' ON A PRAYER......
[NOTE: No player's NCAA eligibility was jeopardized by this post. See here for full story.]