Not So Special Teams

After watching the embarrassment that was our special teams play today, I tend to agree with Pogo:  

Don't agree?  Try these numbers on:

• 3 punts for 62 yards 
• 3 fumbles with 2 lost
• 0-2 Field Goal attempts

Let's not even talk about blocked kicks.  Coach has the analysis down, stating "You lose the turnover battle, you go 0-2 on field goals, that gets you beat".  Can't disagree with that.   Perhaps the team can implement some course of action to prevent this in the future and avoid a 6-6 record.  My suggestions after the jump. 

1. Bring in a Gunny Hartman type ASAP.  There just has to be a retired Marine somewhere in WV just looking for something to do.  Have we got the job for you, Marine, because our proverbial Private Pyle is making our beloved Mountaineers look like amphibian shit.  

   

   via www.chessville.com

2. Get the Texas State University kicker to transfer.  She may not look as good as she did in the 80s, but she probably isn't doing anything and cannot kick worse than what we have.    via img2.timeinc.net
3. Replace the current special teams roster with these guys.  According to my rudimentary scouting they are fleet runners that can sprint up to 43 MPH, and cover up to 16 feet in a stride.  Their kicks are powerfull enough to kill a predator (read Bearcat, Panther).  I fully believe if we can teach Guinea Pigs to row boats that we could teach them to block.  I can only imagine how they'll play on a diet of Red Bull.