Patton...er, Huggin's Speech For The 2011 Backyard Brawl

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a game by getting knocked on his ass and falling down for his team.  He won it by knocking the other poor dumb bastard down for his.  Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about WVU football not wanting to play SPITT, wanting to stay out of the game, is a lot of horse dung.  Mountaineers traditionally love to play and fight.  All real Mountaineers love the sting of the game.  When you were kids, you all admired the WVU linebacker, the WVU running back, the fastest runner, the big time safety, the toughest corner.  Mountaineers love a winner and will not tolerate a loser.  Mountaineers play to win every game all the time.  I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a WVU player who lost and laughed.  That’s why Mountaineers have never and never will lay down for any opponent.  Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Mountaineers.

Now, we’re a team.  We live, eat, sleep, play as a team.  This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap.  The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday ESPN scoreboard don’t know anything more about real football than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest facilities and equipment, the best spirit and the best HFC coach in the world.  You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against.  By God, I do.  We’re not just going to tackle the bastards, we’re going to run through them on each and every damn play!

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not we’ll fumble, drop a pass, miss a block, don't worry about it.  I can assure you that you that the old Gold and Blue will all know what to do.  They are the visitors, dive into them, make them feel the sting, make them get up slow.  When you see your team mate get double-teamed and slammed in between two defenders that chest bump each other, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember.  I don’t want to get see any players in prevent defense and that we area holding our end of the field.  We’re not holding anything.  Let the Panthers do that.  We are driving constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything or trying to run out the clock.  We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick them in the ass.  We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through them like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say about this team when you get back home after the 2011 Backyard Brawl, and you may thank God for it.  Twenty or thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your tailgate with your buddies and they ask you what did you do in the great game of  Nov 25th , 2011, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Pittsburgh."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel.  Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys onto the field – anytime, anywhere.

Eat Shitt Pitt.  That is all.