Trust me, it took every bone in my body not to actually use the word "fuck" in the title. We've been instructed not to use profane language in our story titles, so I refrained. Of course, there's no limit to the times I can use profane language in the actual story, so...
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
Fuck Rich Rodriguez.
That almost sums up my feelings right now for that man. I say almost, because words vile enough to properly describe Rich haven't even been invented yet.
If you haven't heard, Rich Rodriguez is very much like herpes: each passing day that he's not in your life, you become just a little more hopeful that he'll be gone forever, just to have that dream crushed with the next inevitable outbreak. I can't think of a better analogy, maybe because one doesn't exist or because I am too enraged, but either way, for the purposes of this blog, Rich Rodriguez will forever be herpes to me.
No one likes herpes. Certainly not Michigan fans, who now find themselves under NCAA investigation just two years into his failed tenure. And most certainly not Mountaineer fans, who are dealing with the same type of investigation more than two years after the guy left. AFTER THE GUY LEFT! Like herpes, we just can't get rid of the damn guy.
Hell, we've tried everything. We hired Bill Stewart, who couldn't commit an NCAA violation with a gun to his head, hoping that we might finally free ourselves from the dark cloud that was the end of the Rodriguez era. Unfortunately, Bill Stewart, or herpecin in this now unwieldy analogy, only manages symptoms, it can't cure the underlying problem. All it took was one go-round with Rich Rodriguez and we're having regrets for the rest of our lives.
It's my gut feeling that this investigation won't amount to too much, but who can really tell. The NCAA loves to be wildly inconsistent in its punishments, so it's almost a game of roulette. If it ends well for us, Rich Rodriguez will again start to fade into the sunset, and all Mountaineer fans will become stupidly hopeful that we'll never have to deal with him again. Of course, after being fired from Michigan, one of his buyout checks will bounce and he'll be back in our lives again, for better or worse.