PEARLY GATES, Heaven (AP) -- God, the omniscient force behind the universe, no longer holds Florida QB Tim Tebow in high regard. Long thought to be a strident Tebow fan by the college football world and Tebow himself, God has instead tired of the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner.
"Well, I was a fan at first," said The Lord, when reached from his office in Central Elysium. "He's always thanking Me and stuff, which is nice. But it's just too much. Way, way, way too much"
In the last few weeks, though, God has become wary of a form of idol worship that has centered around Tebow. "He's good, but let's be clear: he's not Me," God pointedly mentioned. "I wouldn't have lost to Ole Miss."
When contacted, friends and family also cited God's increasing ire with the media's coverage of Tebow. "I mean, Jesus, does ESPN have to talk about the guy all the time? It's ridiculous." Sitting nearby, Jesus quickly shook his head to indicate that no, they in fact do not. "Jesus and I have been real close to starting to watch Fox Sports. That's how bad it's gotten."
Some mentioned that the situation mirrored God's love-then-hate relationship with former Gator QB Danny Wuerffel. "I liked Danny -- still do. He does a lot of good ministry work for me. But c'mon, the guy basically threw under-handed. I couldn't stand it." Wuerffel, the 1996 Heisman winner, was a superstar quarterback at the University of Florida before moving on to a less than average career in the NFL.
God expressed an effort to try to avoid Florida games on television this year. "Why would I tune into a game just to hear about one player for three hours?" God said. "At this point, I would rather hear about Rich Rodriguez, and I hate that guy. He's not been one of my better efforts, to tell you the God's honest truth.