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God Pretty Much Over Tim Tebow

PEARLY GATES, Heaven (AP) -- God, the omniscient force behind the universe, no longer holds Florida QB Tim Tebow in high regard.  Long thought to be a strident Tebow fan by the college football world and Tebow himself, God has instead tired of the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner.

"Well, I was a fan at first," said The Lord, when reached from his office in Central Elysium.  "He's always thanking Me and stuff, which is nice.  But it's just too much. Way, way, way too much"

Star-divide

In the last few weeks, though, God has become wary of a form of idol worship that has centered around Tebow.  "He's good, but let's be clear: he's not Me," God pointedly mentioned.  "I wouldn't have lost to Ole Miss."

When contacted, friends and family also cited God's increasing ire with the media's coverage of Tebow.  "I mean, Jesus, does ESPN have to talk about the guy all the time?  It's ridiculous."  Sitting nearby, Jesus quickly shook his head to indicate that no, they in fact do not.  "Jesus and I have been real close to starting to watch Fox Sports.  That's how bad it's gotten."

Some mentioned that the situation mirrored God's love-then-hate relationship with former Gator QB Danny Wuerffel.  "I liked Danny -- still do.  He does a lot of good ministry work for me.  But c'mon, the guy basically threw under-handed.  I couldn't stand it."  Wuerffel, the 1996 Heisman winner, was a superstar quarterback at the University of Florida before moving on to a less than average career in the NFL.

God expressed an effort to try to avoid Florida games on television this year.  "Why would I tune into a game just to hear about one player for three hours?" God said.  "At this point, I would rather hear about Rich Rodriguez, and I hate that guy.  He's not been one of my better efforts, to tell you the God's honest truth.

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HCBS

I know God is still a fan of HCBS.

by 5th Year Senior on Jul 27, 2009 11:12 AM EDT reply actions  

No one doubts that

He could lose a thousand football games and God would still be a fan. I bet God liked Andy Griffith, too.

by Dr. Charley West on Jul 27, 2009 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

How can you tire of Tebow?

He’s such a LEADER! He has so much INTENSITY! He’s just so darn CHARASMATIC! What a GREAT GUY!

by Simple Jack on Jul 27, 2009 1:08 PM EDT reply actions  

THANK YOU GOD

For letting us all know that you are growing tired of Tebow. We are too! Now, please use your powers to tell ESPN to calm the f-ck down on Tebow, D-wade, Kobe, Favre, just to name a few.

Please also make something bad happen to Lee Corso and Colin Cowherd. And Marshall. And Pitt. And The Product. Okay this list is getting way too big….maybe just Corso?

by WVU-Atlanta on Jul 27, 2009 1:56 PM EDT reply actions  

One other request for God

God – please bring us a national championship in football and/or men’s basketball. We’ve suffered long enough.

by WVU-Atlanta on Jul 27, 2009 2:01 PM EDT reply actions  

2nd that on Farve

Or maybe just the media talking about Farve.

If we crush Pitt, I can take Corso all day. Pitt and the Product, nice short list.

by phucoffaholic on Jul 27, 2009 3:13 PM EDT reply actions  

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