"If You're Driving Drunk, Don't Also Try To Text," a how-to guide of college athletics, by Dr. Charley West

Honestly, how stupid do you have to be play college football? Every day, we hear about athletes, given nearly every opportunity to succeed on the highest level, proceed to ruin those chances (and generally, there are quite a few) in spectacular fashion. The most recent example is Sergio Kindle, linebacker for the University of Texas. Kindle, who had already been suspended earlier in his career for DWI, lost control of his vehicle while texting and careened into an apartment building, essentially condemning two apartments in the process. Kindle then fled the scene.

Listen, very obviously: Kindle was drunk.  Drunk enough to so badly lose control of his vehicle that he hit a stationary building.  The only people I have known to do that are the elderly and girls I went to law school with.  Cal Naughton, Jr. wanted to have the stereo and TV on at the same time because he liked to party.  Kindle, on the other hand, didn't think driving drunk was enough excitement, hence the texting (and assault of an apartment building with his car).

Attention, college athletes: Charley West would never advocate drinking and driving.  Afterall, I'm a doctor, for goodness sakes.  But if you do find yourself shitfaced and behind the wheel of a moving automobile (whether you realize it's moving or not), try your absolute best to avoid hitting stuff.  For those few minutes, devote all your time to simply driving, not attempting to lose your scholarship and ruin your future by hitting buildings that have a firm foundation in the ground.  You can try to get laid once you get to your destination.  Remember, you're a football player -- you can wait 5 minutes to text whatever drunk skank you're going to fondle.  Just focus.  OK?

I guess Texas should commend Kindle for leaving the scene, because now, instead of being charged with another DWI, he'll probably face lesser charges resembling leaving the scene of an accident.  So, bravo Sergio.  That's some quick thinking, after the very slow thinking that got you into this mess in the first place.