Note #1: Warning, this is Steve Kragthorpe's actual diary. We can't control the fact that he has a sailor's mouth and is misogynistic towards women. We can only love him for it.
Note #2: Previous, even less polished editions of The Kragthorpe Diaries can be found here (I), here (II), over here (III), and even right here (IV). Oh yeah, here (V) too. And we can't forget here (VI).
I know what you think I'm going to say. "The Krag is fucked," right? Well, wrong. Allow The Krag to set the scene...
I am fucking pumped about getting fired. I don't have to stay in this shit hole town for one more second. Do you know how much coke a $2.2 million buyout can buy? Yeah, almost enough for The Krag. I am taking this show on the road. I will be like Bruce "the fucking Boss" Springsteen. But better. And not from New Jersey. I'll be from Krag Jersey.
The Krag is a brand, and people like brands. You know, like Chia Pet and Compuserve, shit that never goes out of style. You sure as fuck know I'm going to land on my feet. Hell, the Krag is already balls deep in coaching searches. I already got calls from Virginia, Notre Dame, and the New Jersey Nets. That last pussy coach only used 5 players -- just think what The Krag can do with 11? Krag-and-roll, bitches!
But I gotta think: do I even want to coach again or just spread my seed Shawn Kemp style? Whatever you answered, you're wrong. Krag can, and will, do both. But pro basketball ain't The Krag's style. I need them college bitches, wantin' them some Kragmayo. So it's back to college I go. But where?
I'll tell you where: Notre fucking Dame. I'm walking my sexy ass up to South Bend now to tell them The Krag is the new coach of the Fighting Irish. They'll be so pumped that all those sexually frustrated catholic girls will line up in front of Touchdown Jesus and let me touchdown there on each of'em. You think Charlie Weis' fupa could do that? Of course not. But my Krag-on is primed and ready.
You know how The Krag do, always coming up with the best fucking plans. So catch The Krag on the flipside, because...
Kragasms to all, and to all a Kragnight!