Scene: Deep inside the secret bunker located below the Puskar Center, Coach Bill Stewart and Equipment Manager Dan Nehlen "prepare" for the Meineke Car Care Bowl......

OK, inventory check. Footballs?

Check.

Jerseys?

Check.

Coal?

Huh?

Oil?

What?

Brains?

Sir, I'm confused.

Rocket-propelled grenades?

Wait, hold on just a...

If we're going to run the world, we're going to need all these things, damnit! Snow camo?

Coach Stewart, if I might ask, what in the hell are you talking about?

We have enough coal to heat the world. We have enough oil to lubricate the world. And we have enough brains to run the world. So, naturally, we must take over the world.

With all due respect, sir, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

Call the foreign minister!

What foreign minister?

Take us up to Defcon Four!

Sir, this is a football program.

You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

What wall?

You can't handle the truth!

OK, sir, this is ridiculous.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

You can't just quote random military movie lines...

You had me at hello.

That's from Jerry Maguire, sir.

Show me the money!

I think you might need a nap, sir. What do you think, Billy, do you need a nap? Maybe a cat-nap, meow?

Yeah, a nap sounds good. Will you read to me?

Sure, Billy. How about Harold and Purple Crayon? Doesn't that sound nice?

Yay!

One evening, after thinking it over for some time, Harold decide to go for a walk in the moonlight.

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

[Note: In case you haven't seen it yet, bask in the glory of Billy]