Welcome, By-Godders, to the Wednesday edition of the Morning Shotgun/Throwdown, presented by a big room full of empty beer cans.
If you hadn't noticed, a few of us on this site went to law school. In fact, one of us is finishing the bar exam tomorrow. I won't say exactly who, but it's 5th Year Senior. So, when the exam is over, the rest of us are going to take our boy out and get him stinking drunk. By stinking drunk, I mean tanked enough to fill up a bedroom full of empty beer cans. Not a small bedroom, like in the picture, but a really big bedroom, like you see on Cribs.* Somewhere in there, there's the bed where "all the magic happens."
Note: Not Redman's crib.
OK, on to the throwdown!
What You (May Have) Missed:
- I Am a Fucking Genius: Yesterday, I told you Vandy would beat Tennessee. What happened? My omnipotence, that's what. Bow down.
- We Can Beat A Bunch of White Guys: Right now, according to Bracketology, we're in the tournament as a #10 seed. Also, apparently, the word "bracketology" is not recognized by my spell check.
- The Dan Dakich Experiment Begins: Sure, last night was a win, but tell me what happens in 8 more days. Actually, we're probably close to a week into this thing, so Indiana should have a new coach any day now. Trust me, they'll be better off.
Videos of (Hilarious) Disinterest:
- If he's (bleeping) Ben Affleck, can I (bleepity bleep) Jennifer Garner? I mean, because we went to the same high school, I tell people I have anyways.
- Here's the original. For those who know me, they can probably guess who'd want to (bleep) in this next video. Hint, it's the dude.
What To Watch For:
- West Virginia (+4.5) @ DePaul: Must, must, MUST win. Seriously, must win. Not like that Villanova game last week that we all thought was a must win until we lost by a thousand. This is actually a must win. But considering our performances on the road, this isn't my lock...
- Penn State (-3.5) vs. Iowa: ...but this is. You want investment advice? Take Penn State. Also, invest all your money with me. Remember, as I told you last week, I now have my GED and I only embezzle a little.