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The Kragthorpe Diaries III




Note #1: This is Steve Kragthorpe's actual diary. We can't control the fact that he has a sailor's mouth and is misogynistic towards women. We can only love him for it.

Note #2: Previous, even less polished editions of The Kragthorpe Diaries can be found here and here.

Woah, woah, WOAH! Back the fuck up, holmes.

They tell me I've taken a top 10 program and made them irrelevant in 9 months. How the hell did that happen? I must've blacked out for about, say, the entire 2007 season. That's what I get for eating nothing but 'shrooms and Fruity Pebbles for 4 months.

Even Lee Corso couldn't do that. When you think about, it's pretty impressive. Hell, with our roster, even Greg Robinson could probably close his eyes and win 6 games. Not The Krag. The way I see it, if you're going to fuck up, might as well fuck up right. And I fucked up right.

I mean, have you seen the steaming pile of shit I called a recruiting class? A bunch of 2 and 3 star nobodies. Most of them probably couldn't find their dicks with both hands and a flash light. I've never even heard of half of them. Towards the end, we just started cold-calling high school coaches. Apparently, they sent the retarded kids. They probably don't even know they have dicks.

Seriously, look at that list. Rock Keys? Shit, I just made him up. Used a name I saw in a porn a few years ago. Damn, what an awesome name - Rock Keys. One minute he was a pizza delivery guy, the next minute he was plowing half a sorority. To be honest with you, he's my fucking hero. Plus he runs a 3.8 second 40 and has a 57 inch vertical, so he's a helluva ballplayer. Ha, I said ballplayer, that's funny.

At least he could find his dick.

Star-divide

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Rock Keys owns the Bedrock dealership where Fred Flinstone bought his car.

by glibglub on Feb 11, 2008 3:29 PM EST reply actions  

Flintstone, sorry ’bout that.

by glibglub on Feb 11, 2008 3:30 PM EST reply actions  

I read all of the article’s about the KRAG. I just want to thank Charley West for making my day. Those were fucking hilarious. I will never look at Krag the same.
(make sure to click on all the links in this article)

by mark ferris on Feb 11, 2008 5:47 PM EST reply actions  

They want me to go to rehab, but I sat NO, NO, NO!

by F ROD on Feb 11, 2008 8:55 PM EST reply actions  

Rock Keys? Hahahaha

by Breezy on Feb 11, 2008 8:58 PM EST reply actions  

What about Rock Hoover? For those that listen to Mike and Mike (I rarely do as I feel they are both untalented wastes of oxygen) I believe that is/was Mark Schlereth’s name on some soap opera he was going to be on….Rock Keys, Rock Hoover, whatever.

by bringONtheEERS on Feb 12, 2008 8:43 AM EST reply actions  

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