Welcome, By-Godders, to the Friday edition of the Morning Shotgun/Throwdown, brought to you by Phillies Blunts. Sure, technically it's a different kind of shotgun, but equally effective in getting you fucked up. So here we go...
What You (May Have) Missed:
- The Bomb Must've Been A Dud: Today was supposed to be Chuck Finder's big finish vis-a-vis the Rodriguez . Unfortunately, it was more like 5th Year Senior's finish: much too soon and ultimately disappointing.
But based the incessant demands on WVU by Rodriguez’s agent, Mike Brown, somebody should have spanked Rodriguez on his bottom like a bad, bad boy and put him in a corner of the Puskar Center to pout.
- If These Two Can't Make It... Apparently, Jessica and Tony have broken up. Even if I were banging Jessica Simpson, I think about two months is the most I could possibly stand listening to her speak. Unless she was into anal.
Video(s) of Disinterest:
What To Watch:
There is very little sport to watch on a Friday night. Instead, maybe read a book. Just kidding. Watch porn.
- YouPorn [NSFW] (-6) vs. Regular Porn: Sure, I am a child of the Internet age, which makes wanking that much easier. See how I used the word wanking? The British terminology really classes up a masturbation joke.
- Miley Cyrus: Don't ask, don't tell.
Note: Today's Shotgun Throwdown is alternatively brought to you by Funyuns. It's a natural progression.