Tomorrow is National Talk Like a Pirate day. I have actually been observing this holiday since the mid 70s, which was actually both before I was born and before this fake holiday was invented. What can I say, I'm a fan. Just to be safe, I am giving everyone the heads up today because you'll need a full 24 hours to properly prepare for this glorious day.
To get you started, here is a glossary of pirate terms. These words can be used together in any order, as pirates generally never made sense. Also, here is an installment of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
OK, so you've got the glossary and the Deep Thoughts. Throw on an eye patch, contract syphilis and scurvy and you should be ready to go.